As someone who knows far more about Menslib than I should probably say in the open, I can safely tell you that you need to get off the internet and not read gender-oriented material at all. Podcasts too. This is media, it’s meant to create conversations and most people don’t take it seriously. Or at least they shouldn’t.
The internet has this way of seeping into your head and making you think the constant barrage of sensationalism, of intrusive thoughts-turned-posts, of fake people pretending to be outraged, it makes you think all of this is any way how people actually view the world and it programs you to do the same.
I lived in the before-times, I know how people thought before. It wasn’t like this. When you’re not infected with the aimless thoughts of thousands of faceless voices in space, you can just enjoy what you enjoy and nobody cares. And if someone does care and not like a thing you like, you say “oh that’s too bad, I like it though.” And that was it. End of story. Those two people would then go on to like, get married and have a pile of kids because back then, we weren’t always looking for contention. That’s the other thing these spaces do, is make you aware of contention that doesn’t impact you and only serves to clutter up your mind.
This entire fetid mess is screwing up our minds, and then you take this screwed-up vision of the world and post it somewhere else, so the thousands hundreds of super-sensitive, sheltered Lemmy users read it and now all the tender boys here are wringing their hands over a non-issue as well and absolute nonsense spreads and spreads and spreads.
You like something? Like it. Stop trying to please people while at the same time stay respectful and kind and just get on with your day and life without excuses or hand-wringing about things that aren’t real.
All you have to do, as hard as it is, is compartmentalize your mind a little better.
When you read menslib-super-academic, everyone-is-a-gender-philosopher and everyone scores points for being better and more progressive than everyone else, you need to be able to read that with an understanding that some of it is has value in terms of understanding the world and how arguments work, but you can cut it off there. You go back to outside-land and look around at your life and understand that it’s not related to two strangers online yelling at each other about different brands of socialism versus how problematic Brad Pitt’s performance is.
If you then left all that baggage BACK at menslib, and then enjoyed your movies and media and talked like a grown up to other people about the media you like, you will find that MOST people will share your interests or at least give it a shot. It’s about having some level of sovereignty and not letting the internet infect your mind with nonsense. And it is. I don’t care if there are actual protests on campuses from people screaming how evil Fight Club is, it doesn’t matter. You can still like it and not feed the chain. Have some shred of pride in yourself and the things you like.
Because the next step after feeling ashamed to like what you like, is feeling angry at the world for “not letting you” like them, and then starts the slippery slide into being hateful and angry and suspicious of everyone and everything. To say nothing of how you will want to spread how frustrated you are more and more, inflaming an already degrading situation.
Okay i’m done, I just had to address this because it sounded wrong in so many ways. We’re all getting our heads yanked up our own asses by reading the voices of too many other people.
I appreciate that at least someone read it. I feel bad for people trying to do right and just find some decent, non-hateful place to socialize online, but we all gotta remember there’s no such thing as a safe space online. It’s all going to alter your brain in some way. It’s like how there’s no such thing as a “healthy” amount of alcohol, even nice, decent spaces online are not necessarily good for you if you’re not limited your time and not maintaining healthy distance from other people’s thoughts.
It’s hard because we all want to connect, but our brains aren’t wired to absorb the thoughts of so many other people… especially how we read them in our own voices inside our head. It confuses the many, many sub-layers of your consciousness. (Neurology is a bitch to learn about because you realize all at once how complex we are, but also how vulnerable.)
I dunno’, if you ever knew a gossipy bitch in the-before-times, plenty of people were also judgemental assholes assuming the worst about everyone, from all angles and political slantings.
It was just less obvious, because you couldn’t go somewhere and read the thoughts from someone you’ll never meet back then unless it was published in a book or newspaper.
If you really get to understand humans, it turns out a lot of them genuinely do not have the capacity to judge others as individuals, and genuinely think they’re the good guy even while openly shitting on others. Even before the internet.
Note: I’m not saying this to excuse the behavior, but just to say that you cannot avoid it and it is not an invention of the internet. Learning to deal with it healthily is the correct answer.
what the… then, how could you possibly be attacked for liking them?
Are you just creating things in your mind to feel bad about???
Because hear people talk about them.
Which people and where? I am dead serious, there is reason why I want to know.
I used to go to places like menslib on reddit. That shit was what was mostly talked about. It pops up in some of the podcasts I listen to.
As someone who knows far more about Menslib than I should probably say in the open, I can safely tell you that you need to get off the internet and not read gender-oriented material at all. Podcasts too. This is media, it’s meant to create conversations and most people don’t take it seriously. Or at least they shouldn’t.
The internet has this way of seeping into your head and making you think the constant barrage of sensationalism, of intrusive thoughts-turned-posts, of fake people pretending to be outraged, it makes you think all of this is any way how people actually view the world and it programs you to do the same.
I lived in the before-times, I know how people thought before. It wasn’t like this. When you’re not infected with the aimless thoughts of thousands of faceless voices in space, you can just enjoy what you enjoy and nobody cares. And if someone does care and not like a thing you like, you say “oh that’s too bad, I like it though.” And that was it. End of story. Those two people would then go on to like, get married and have a pile of kids because back then, we weren’t always looking for contention. That’s the other thing these spaces do, is make you aware of contention that doesn’t impact you and only serves to clutter up your mind.
This entire fetid mess is screwing up our minds, and then you take this screwed-up vision of the world and post it somewhere else, so the
thousandshundreds of super-sensitive, sheltered Lemmy users read it and now all the tender boys here are wringing their hands over a non-issue as well and absolute nonsense spreads and spreads and spreads.You like something? Like it. Stop trying to please people while at the same time stay respectful and kind and just get on with your day and life without excuses or hand-wringing about things that aren’t real.
I honestly feel like this is almost impossible.
Says the link in the chain.
All you have to do, as hard as it is, is compartmentalize your mind a little better.
When you read menslib-super-academic, everyone-is-a-gender-philosopher and everyone scores points for being better and more progressive than everyone else, you need to be able to read that with an understanding that some of it is has value in terms of understanding the world and how arguments work, but you can cut it off there. You go back to outside-land and look around at your life and understand that it’s not related to two strangers online yelling at each other about different brands of socialism versus how problematic Brad Pitt’s performance is.
If you then left all that baggage BACK at menslib, and then enjoyed your movies and media and talked like a grown up to other people about the media you like, you will find that MOST people will share your interests or at least give it a shot. It’s about having some level of sovereignty and not letting the internet infect your mind with nonsense. And it is. I don’t care if there are actual protests on campuses from people screaming how evil Fight Club is, it doesn’t matter. You can still like it and not feed the chain. Have some shred of pride in yourself and the things you like.
Because the next step after feeling ashamed to like what you like, is feeling angry at the world for “not letting you” like them, and then starts the slippery slide into being hateful and angry and suspicious of everyone and everything. To say nothing of how you will want to spread how frustrated you are more and more, inflaming an already degrading situation.
Okay i’m done, I just had to address this because it sounded wrong in so many ways. We’re all getting our heads yanked up our own asses by reading the voices of too many other people.
Your entire rant should be required reading for kids entering high school in the age of social media.
I appreciate that at least someone read it. I feel bad for people trying to do right and just find some decent, non-hateful place to socialize online, but we all gotta remember there’s no such thing as a safe space online. It’s all going to alter your brain in some way. It’s like how there’s no such thing as a “healthy” amount of alcohol, even nice, decent spaces online are not necessarily good for you if you’re not limited your time and not maintaining healthy distance from other people’s thoughts.
It’s hard because we all want to connect, but our brains aren’t wired to absorb the thoughts of so many other people… especially how we read them in our own voices inside our head. It confuses the many, many sub-layers of your consciousness. (Neurology is a bitch to learn about because you realize all at once how complex we are, but also how vulnerable.)
I dunno’, if you ever knew a gossipy bitch in the-before-times, plenty of people were also judgemental assholes assuming the worst about everyone, from all angles and political slantings.
It was just less obvious, because you couldn’t go somewhere and read the thoughts from someone you’ll never meet back then unless it was published in a book or newspaper.
If you really get to understand humans, it turns out a lot of them genuinely do not have the capacity to judge others as individuals, and genuinely think they’re the good guy even while openly shitting on others. Even before the internet.
Note: I’m not saying this to excuse the behavior, but just to say that you cannot avoid it and it is not an invention of the internet. Learning to deal with it healthily is the correct answer.