Appreciate life.
Be fascinated by life.
Love life.
- Vivi
Poor OP’s dad, I can relate.
On my 21st birthday I hadn’t made any friends at uni, and I’d lost touch with my high school friends. So I grabbed a bottle of vodka and went to drink alone in a field, staring up at the stars.
After a few hours I’d drank half of it, and then stumbled back home, resolving to look at the stars with a telescope.
My dad was on the computer, and didn’t say much as I staggered up to my room, grabbed my telescope, stumbled downstairs and unpacked it in the garden.
“Dad, come look at the mooon!” I yelled, and he got up from the computer, trawled to the garden, peered through the scope, smiled and remarked about it, and then went back indoors.
He obviously knew I was drunk, and he must have also known that I’d been drinking alone, but he didn’t make a big deal out of it and humoured me.
I love him for that.
I will say my father highly enjoyed the discussion. I have such a strong handle on psychedelics, that I can manage being in public restaurants.
If he had fun that’s good, he also sounds like a stable anchor you can use on your journeys
Yeah. LSD has made a night and day difference for me. I’ve shown unusual affinity for it, and it has been easily the most impactful and important decision I have ever made.
Psychedelics have been my favourite form of expressive art. It’s a shame we’ve been branded criminals hooligans. We just have a different way of doing the same thing–enjoying life. This was my way, and it’s been a special and beautiful journey of self positivity.
This is my life’s work. I am a true psychonaut. I can onlynrecall a single bad high, and I feel in excellent physical and mental health, despite a broken world.
LSD has taught me two lessons: Appreciation, and yesterday, fascination. I believe I have many more things to learn, like friendship, love, and empathy. I may understand these things, but not as well as I could.
For me, nothing is ever good enough. Not in a way that I feel unsatisfied, but because I will never stop growing, and will never become stagnated.
There is always tomorrow. Life is well worth living, despite its pain. I hope to share my journey, and words of advice with the world, for years to come.
Now, I can truly say my name is Vivi.
My only worry with it is the same worry I have with any kind of mood enhancer (e.g. caffeine): what am I like without it, and can I enjoy life when I’m off it
Psychedelics are pretty unique drugs marred by lots of misinformation and media bias. The relevant bit for this though is that you aren’t on them all the time. Habitual users may use them up to once a week, and even that is pushing it over the long term. Many users treat them with deep respect and have a more ritualized usage. For example, instead of getting high every weekend they try to make time once every month or two and it’s a very intentional experience with music or nature or both, or whatever else works for them.
So you might be high for 8 hours every month or two. That’s a pretty realistic estimate. Yet despite that tiny amount of time spent actually on the drug, people do say it changes their life for the better. It’s still not for everybody though. They can be mentally challenging in ways that are difficult to describe, but it’s a lot to get into and trying to summarize would not be helpful.
Well thanks for taking the time to explain nonetheless!
Drugs can be good for the mind without harming the body, or making other days feel dull. It takes knowing your limits, and respecting those limits. Some substances simply aren’t compatible with some individuals. It happens to be that I can use just about anything for overall positive benefit.
Ah, and it also takes following the lessons you learn.
Perseverance, and patience.
Maybe one day I will try it. I’m just worried the insights I get from it will derail me in some way. Still, can’t know without trying it once!
Did you ever visit your nearest observatory club?
I used to work in one, with “nearest” being the literal other side of the city on the outskirts.
It’s not that magical unless you like telling computer’s where to look tbh
Edit: oh you’re asking about me joining a telescope group! Yeah that’d be a good idea
Yup, i have been thinking of joining one myself because also it’s hard to find good local information and those people probably know exactly where when and from where to look.
I guess I’m nervous if they’re all pros and I’m not, but hell, you only live once - gonna look around for one!
Not LSD but another psychedelic gave me:
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The most intense scary experience of my life and the believe i was in a state of shock and dying.
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The most intense beautiful experience of my life and the believe i was part of the never-dying fabric of space time.
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Made me forget who i was, to help me understand who i am.
All of this in like a single 20 minutes of time after which everything was (sort of) normal again.
I can only recommend if you fully consent and do not fear the unknown.
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Psychedelics seem amazing. Shrooms have changed my life and I’d love to explore some others if I ever get the opportunity. It’s a crime against humanity that they’ve been so vilified.
Bicycle Day went really well, huh
Other than alcohol, I’ve never done any recreational drugs. However, I’ve taken prescribed ones after surgeries. Most recently I broke my ankle and, in the ER, they gave me lots of painkiller injections. I think the one that is relevant to this story is oxycodone, but I couldn’t say for sure.
Anyway, I was in the hospital for three days after breaking my ankle and basically didn’t sleep because of what they gave me. At a certain point, between sedation and sleep deprivation, I legitimately questioned my connection to the universe. I think I actually asked myself whether I was insane. More than once.
I specifically remember one moment, I think around 2am, during which the hospital TV was doing a Men in Black marathon. I saw a clip - that I’d seen many times before, I’m a big fan - wherein something happened. I understood what was happening, generally why, generally how, etc.; but I couldn’t process it. I can’t really articulate my experience. It was like if you told me 2+2=4 and I recognized that that was true, but I didn’t really get the underlying situation.
I’m not judging anyone who takes drugs for fun, you do you, but I don’t understand how that kind of experience can be sought after. I hated it. When they sent me home, I didn’t come anywhere near finishing the (very limited) prescription they gave me and, when I had a more recent dental surgery, I didn’t even open the painkillers they prescribed. Again, I’m not criticizing anyone who partakes, I just don’t get the appeal.
Super long read, sorry in advance! I’m honestly a yapper. First part.
The thing is, they call them “painkillers” instead of “opioids”. I research drugs so much before trying them. I know my limits. I practice harm reduction, which minimises my chance of having a bad experience. Oxycodone is a highly dangerous drug, and people are not made aware of these side effects before being given them as a prescription.
It’s just a painkiller for surgery called Percocet.
Having never done oxycodone, probably means that I should already know that oxycodone could end up being a miserable time for me, instead of the misery being unexpected. When the time comes for surgery, I am prepared and equipped with as much information on the substance as possible. A side benefit of my LSD usage is the building of my resilience to narcotics, essentially, because that is genuinely something I have a skill in. Truly, and genuinely. Practice makes permanent.
The chance of me disliking oxycodone are now minimalised, due to research, and practice of harm reduction. Being specifically skilled in this is an incredible gift. I now know how to perceive the high. I’ll talk about my opioid use later, I want to discuss something else.
Why choose to use them?
Not only does LSD help me become more headstrong and self accepting, it is also one I am remarkably tolerant to, and can push to extremes. I took 150μg of LSD with 300mg of DXM (dextromethorphan, cough suppressant, dissociative similar to ketamine, if you didn’t know), and a 25mg edible, which felt like my first life-altering experience, and it was deeply healing. Not only that, but I had 150mg of diphenhydramine (yes, Benadryl challenge) because I enjoy deliriants, and also not throwing up. Benadryl does reduce the nausea caused by DXM, typically.
Also, yes, I enjoy deliriants. Be extremely careful with these, they are very harmful when overused. I take protective supplements and only use quite rarely.
It’s odd, because deliriants are typically described as hellish. However, I am very tolerant to it. I find its visuals mesmerising, with minimal psychological change or turmoil. It’s a gentle ride for me with barely any hallucinations at all. Related is how MDMA can cause severe depression despite its initial benefits on the body, due to repeatedly raised serotinin levels (essentially shocking the brain). Benadryl is similar. Otherwise, it’s a very subdued high for me. I’m not destroying my brain by overindulging in the drug like many inadvertently do. I am aware of its impact, and limit myself. Harm has been minimised to a degree I find consensual.
I understand what goes into my body very well. I understand the majority of drugs’ impact on receptors in the brain, and parts of the body. I understand every effect, every side effect, every impact of use. This does not mean I will not be harmed at all, this simply means I am equipped with as many ways to reduce harm to myself as possible. I must stress how important moderation is, as Benadryl is linked to dementia. I take huperzine A to reverse damage caused by depleted choline, which is the cause for dementia. This is also why nicotine negates Benadryl’s effects well, because nicotine is neuroprotective in some aspects due to raised cholinergic activity.
Did you know that in moderation, nicotine actually supports memory? Prevents dementia? And, yes, increases the risk for cancer. Imagine if we treated it as such? There is, however, often some form of cost, somewhere, not necessarily due to physical harm, but mental harm as well, if you are unprepared. A key is that I am an overall healthy individual, and I practice in careful moderation, and never make decisions I’ll regret. As well as this, because I practice harm reduction, I recognise my own impulsive decisions, and minimise how often I use a substance.
DXM is one I overindulged in. I slightly hurt myself, but impact was extremely minimal, because I caught it early, and slowed down. That doesn’t mean it’s all bad, though it has downsides. A positive is, in some instances, DXM may actually have neurological benefits, and support the brain positively.
And, a third.
Did you know that NyQuil, the horrible drug teens are using to get high, actually contains harmful additives for further cough suppressing effects? It is safe in moderation, of course, and is great for this purpose, but getting high off of DXM requires entire bottles, which causes major stress on the body, and may require medical attention. That is not what it is made for.
But DXM isn’t actually that harmful.
DXM, on its own, in tiny 30mg pellets, with no addatives, is pure. It has no toxic additives. It is, therefore, neuroprotective in some cases, in moderation. I may use 300mg in one dose every few weeks, and may stand to somewhat benefit from it. The benefit isn’t something I’m chasing, however. It’s just interesting.
Yet, nobody knows this, and laws are being passed to restrict access to these medications, because people do not understand what’s going into their bodies. This is why it’s so important to thoroughly research everything.
I’m not perfect, either. I accidentally mixed DXM with 5-HTP, and suffered minor serotonin syndrome for a few hours. It was bad, but not serious. I started to understand all drugs’ affects on the brain more thoroughly after this incident, and now understand its impact on the body in conjunction with all other substances.
I can read any drug combination before I decide it’s safe to try. DXM and 5-HTP is hazardous. Now I know better, and won’t repeat the mistake.
Second part.
This wraps me back to the beginning, for a moment. Imagine you understood oxycodone’s effects on the brain, having been in an engaging class, in school, which provides honest and genuine harm reduction practises, so people can be equipped with more knowledge, and not less? Why say LSD makes you go insane, when it was the very thing that kept me from my death, because I understood what I was doing, and was fully ready. I taught myself, so can school. I have, thanks to effort on my end, never had a bad trip. I’ve also never had an overwhelmingly bad high.
This is my last example, related to my genuine legal opioid use.
I’ve used 7-OH–an opioid substance that is legal, over the counter, in my state, and is a very minor alkaloid in kratom. See “7-hydroxymitragynine”. It is 33x more potent than morphine, and is fairly similar to other opioids. It’s considerably safer in some aspects, though. I find it good as a mixer, and okay on its own once every two weeks. It’s one that is extremely addictive in some cases, however. Be careful with it.
Also, about kratom, which is much safer than most drugs. It isn’t quite gas station heroin, as the media states. I honestly find it similar to tea and subdued cannabis or alcohol. And, yes, other opioids in a subdued way. Kratom itself is hardly an opioid, and is generally safe every once in a while, and is effective for opioid withdrawal. It only contains a tiny percent content of 7-OH. 7-OH can be extracted, though, and 7-OH is technically a very potent opioid research chemical.
More knowledge is more knowledge. People can’t assume that substances have no consequences, as pharmacies may make easier to believe due to a lack of public education. The warnings at the ends of advertisements are barely comprehended, yet the side effects are also hardly understood at all when you are being given the prescription as well. You’re simply given “Percocet”, and it takes the pain away. The jargon makes no sense. The public isn’t knowledgeable.
Just a painkiller. If only it were actually that simple.
I hope this was a good read. I’m sorry–I know that’s a lot to read, but this is, honest to goodness, as thorough and as exhaustive of a complete summary as I could provide. Also, it is 4/20, and I am incredibly high. Sorry again. Lmao. Trying my best here.
As always, please, please, please do your own research, so you fully understand the impact of substances on the body. Better yet, create PSAs for society to be given honest to goodness warnings and helpful advice about recreational, medical, and prescription drug use. It would save lives, and save people so many scares. It would save so many unnecessary decisions.
And, finally, one more thing. Sorry in advance–the reason drugs have been demonized by the media.
A quote, Richard Nixon’s domestic policy chief, John Ehrlichman, completely verbatim. Reported by CNN.
“You understand what I’m saying? We knew we couldn’t make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities,” Ehrlichman said. “We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”
That’s probably the most eye opening fact I have to share. Have a great day. Happy 4/20 to those who celebrate, if you happen to be reading as well.
Truth is the first casualty of war on drugs. The second casualty of the war is understanding.
A postscript:
I actually rather dislike alcohol. I sometimes have some, but only when smoking a THC product. I’ve had many bad experiences, most drug users dislike it, but I’ve found a way to enjoy it every time with minimal consequence. I did always like it, to a degree. Goes great with salvia divinorum, believe it or not.
And some extra info:
Also see The Drug User’s Bible, an incredibly easy to digest harm reduction resource, and one I highly suggest starting out with to get a better, practical understanding of this subject. I then suggest hitting up Erowid (which may work poorly on your browser, Mullvad gives me issues, but has many good summary sheets and experience reports for some insight!), and, finally, TripSit and PsychonautWiki (sorry, this one seems to be down a lot).
Other great works and reads:
TripSitter, for solid summaries and history
And, of course, Wikipedia, for a fantastic, unbiased general summary.
Stay fascinated, my friends.
I actually mixed LSD and DXM this trip. Caution is highly advised. It was really strong, but every second was pretty much positive.
150μg and 300mg, with 25mg of THC. It was insane, yet I knew I could handle it.
