• Eyedust@sh.itjust.works
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    10 hours ago

    I once worked with that one person. You know the one, heavy enjoyer of cannabis even on the job. He was THE person. No, let me put it into perspective.

    The guy would down a full bottle of cannalean 1k nano THC before work and would come in with a massive 500mg candy in his mouth. This kid would impress old Tommy Chong.

    The first thing he’d ever tell you is that he ate human flesh. Apparently, him and a buddy were cooking something and his buddy cut the tip of his finger off on the cutting board. He said that they both stared at it for a long time before my coworker asked, “Can I eat that?” If its true, these guys had to have been blasted.

    Shame he was fired for sleeping on the job.

  • insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe
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    8 hours ago

    You an’ me baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the good cooking channels

    Cannibal by Tally Hall type situation (though unlikely, as I am boring and my flesh is probably sub-par quality due to poor health), maybe with me listening to that* while zonked out my gourd sauteing a chunk of my own arm with mixed vegetables. I usually don’t cook meat though, so maybe they’d do that bit.

    * Also relevant but more of an emo aesthetic, Misery Meat or People Eater by Sodikken

  • palordrolap@fedia.io
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    1 day ago

    Human flesh is said to smell and taste very similar to pork. At least one culture that partook in cannibalism called human meat “long pig” probably because of that. I’m also fairly sure I’ve heard stories of fire and rescue workers reporting delicious pork-roast smells that turned out absolutely horrifying and put them off pork for a very long time.

    It may also be one of the reasons that certain religious texts and cultures forbid the eating of pork. It’s probably more to do with how pork spoils quickly in the climates where those religions originated, as well as the risk of roundworms if it isn’t cooked properly, but it does also stop the butcher from selling you a pork steak that isn’t actually pork, so that’s a bonus.

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      10 hours ago

      Ugh, I bet the smell of burning wood doesn’t help that either. Hickory smoked pig just wouldn’t be the same after smelling a person burning alive in their wood frame home.

    • asqapro@reddthat.com
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      21 hours ago

      Origin of “long pig”, copied from this Reddit comment:

      I think you might be right. In A St. Johnston’s Camping among Cannibals (which the OED quotes in its etymology of the term), he describes how:

      The expression “long pig” is not a joke, nor a phrase invented by Europeans, but one frequently used by the Fijians, who looked upon a corpse as ordinary butcher’s meat, and call a human body puaka balava, " long pig," in contradistinction to puaka dina, or " real pig."

      Which makes it sound like they were just distinguishing between the length of pigs and people.

    • rumba@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      I was in the basement working on a electronic project sitting in the floor My parents house. Couldn’t find my soldering iron holder so I just had a somewhat deep bowl and set it in upside down

      Something surprising was on TV and I looked up, subconsciously I reach down to pick up the soldering iron which was upside down of its normal orientation.

      I heard a sizzle. It took a good half second for me to realize it was me.

      The lead on the iron was sweet when I touched the burned finger in my mouth, the skin had a decidedly porky flavor to it. Not going to lie it was kind of barbecuey…*

      Edit: dictation did me dirty

      • Cypher@lemmy.world
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        22 hours ago

        I was distracted by some other students and grabbed a soldering iron in a metal workshop class when I was young.

        The results were predictably uncomfortable and now when Im soldering it is impossible to distract me.

        It’s the kind of lesson you don’t ever forget.

    • Sceptique@leminal.space
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      1 day ago

      but it does also stop the butcher from selling you a pork steak that isn’t actually pork, so that’s a bonus.

      or maybe it’s just a translation error haha

    • metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub
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      1 day ago

      Spelling mistakes getting called out increases engagement. I’m not saying it was done on purpose in this instance, but in general it does make sense that you’ll see more posts with spelling mistakes because they’ll rise to the top. The only winning move is not to play.

        • metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub
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          1 day ago

          Oh definitely, it’s not like Lemmy is overflowing with it and I can’t imagine the author is the one posting here. I’m just saying that if you’re sorting by hot or active you increase the odds of seeing content with these spelling mistakes or silly errors by calling it out, so instead of the presumed effect the corrector wanted, i.e. either getting the author to change it, the poster not bother, or having it seen fewer people, it generally has the opposite effect.

  • merc@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Hey extrovert, how about you shut up? Silence is nice. We don’t constantly need to hear you talking.

    • skygirl@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Nah, I love my extroverts. They do what I repeatedly fail to do, and help pull me into the conversation and actually get some social interaction rather than sulking quietly in a corner.

      Extroverts that know how to pull introverts into social interaction are the best and I have often looked up to them.

        • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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          22 hours ago

          That’s how it starts out, but decades later you’re not shy anymore, you’re just lazy in starting a conversation and rely on others who have much less inertia.

          I also love my extrovees

            • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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              13 hours ago

              I gotta admit I’m pretty confused with these labels. I thought intro/extro were labels applied to behaviours of people, not some intrinsic want.

              E.g. if you have social anxiety or were shy, driving you to stay indoors and not interact no matter how much you wanted to, that’s introverted.

              I spent most of my life like that, at peace with my own hobbies, and happy to be left alone, but later in life overcame my social issues and developed a slow rapport with people, that then turned into enjoying others company.

              • merc@sh.itjust.works
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                2 hours ago

                No, it’s an intrinsic want. Extroverts get energized by being around other people, and feel drained when spending time alone. Introverts get drained by being around other people, and need some time alone to recharge. You can be a shy extrovert, someone who wants to be around other people but is shy about it. Or, you can be a class-clown introvert, someone who is the life of the party, but needs to get away and get some energy back after that kind of performance.

                • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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                  2 hours ago

                  Hmm. I guess I iterate between the two a lot then. I’d also be surprised if most people didn’t

    • dukk@programming.dev
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      23 hours ago

      ok but isn’t telling an extrovert to talk less the same as telling an introvert to talk more??

      like…

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        23 hours ago

        Yes, and do you know how often introverts are told to talk more? Do you know how rarely extroverts are told to shut up?

        It might be rude to tell an individual extrovert to shut up. But, it definitely isn’t rude to remind extroverts as a whole that they don’t need to fill every silence with babbling, and to tell them that it certainly isn’t a duty of theirs that everyone is thankful that they do.

    • varyingExpertise@feddit.org
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      1 day ago

      You will be either in my maelstrom of social interaction or you can leave, I’m partially sorry but I’m nowhere near the steering wheel as soon as I’m in a group of people.

    • JayDee@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Ultra-rare, and not spontaneously caused by eating human flesh. You’re more likely to get mad cow disease (also prions) from eating beef.

      • lime!@feddit.nu
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        23 hours ago

        as far as i understand it they can technically just show up, without you having to eat anything. it’s one of those “could kill you from nowhere” things, like false vacuum decay.

        but eating human meat, especially brain, will significantly increase the risk, yes

        • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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          9 hours ago

          Not limited to human though. BSE (B for bovine, cow) is basically the same, caused by having pulverized animal in their feed.

          Btw, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy translates to cow sponge-brain sickness.

        • smeg@feddit.uk
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          13 hours ago

          False vacuum decay is one of those theoretical things that we have no way of knowing if it could ever even happen. Now gamma ray bursts, they’re out there happening right now and could kill you just as instantly!

      • JayDee@lemmy.world
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        23 hours ago

        They spread everywhere, and cause progressively worse neurological issues as they spread through the brain.

  • leftzero@lemmynsfw.com
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    23 hours ago

    Does the “gurantee” include prions…? 🤨

    (If you can guarantee no prions — don’t really care about the no one harmed bit, as long as I don’t know them or they’re on my shitlist —, and it’s cooked in some way I enjoy — no fancy gourmet spherified vapour shit, thanks — then yeah, definitely, I’m no vegan or anywhere close, but I’d rather eat human than some other animal who can’t consent or have done anything to deserve being murdered and eaten.)

    • JayDee@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Said this on another comment: eating human meat does not increase your chance of prions. If you eat another human with prions disease, then you get it. But if you don’t eat prion-infected meat, you don’t get prions.

      We eat deer, which also get prions. We also eat cow, which also get prions (mad cow disease, which also infects humans). We avoid getting prions with regulation of those markets. We could do exactly the same in this scenario.

      • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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        3 hours ago

        We could do exactly the same in this scenario.

        At least we know we can build our cannibal dystopia in a way that’s safe for the cannibals.

      • leftzero@lemmynsfw.com
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        16 hours ago

        eating human meat does not increase your chance of prions

        Tell that to victims of kuru.

        We eat deer

        No, I most definitely don’t.

        which also get prions

        I don’t think “get” is the right word. We gave them prions when we put them together with sheep with scrapie to see if it could be transmitted to deer. Which it could. And by “we” I mean humans, but specifically the USA, because of course it was the USA. Probably trying to make biological weapons. Well, congratulations, I guess, fantastic success there.

        We avoid getting prions with regulation of those markets

        No we don’t. Capitalism ensures that we get regular outbreaks of human transmitted mad cow disease (which at some point would start spreading from human to human and kill us all, if CWD didn’t get us first), and the deer stuff is completely unregulated (and will become even worse with that raving orange lunatic in the white house).

        It’s a matter of time (probably less than five years, given the collapsing state of the USA) before it starts spreading to humans and becomes an unstoppable pandemic that’ll kill us all.

        The only reasonable course of action would be to nuke all affect areas until every square centimeter of the ground turns to glass, but we aren’t going to do that, because we care more about short term profit and optics than about the inevitable extinction of the human race.

        • JayDee@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          Did you read anything about kuru beforehand? It’s contracted by ritual eating in general rites. They also have no means of diagnosing prion infection in a corpse, which is why people would eat brain tissue with prions. It didn’t spontaneously form in those victims, it was in the corpse. Overall, it could be avoided by just not eating infected meat, hence why Papua New Guinea did not collapse from kuru - it was rare to get it, and once the mode of transmission was known, it was much easier to avoid.

          Chronic wasting disease was first observed in deer in the 1960s, and there is nothing actually confirming it’s exact origin. it was first noted in deer herds being researched in Colorado, and as far as I am reading, it did not jump from sheep to deer.

          We do actually regulate mad cow disease, going as far as culling entire herds of livestock and disposing of the meat. Outbreaks happen, yes, but we are keeping that spread down. This is also in meat that we sell at an insane scale, one which would not be replicatable with human meat without slavery.

          With human donated meat, it’s very unlikely you would get prions. Again, you are way more likely to get it from cow meat and deer meat.