cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21517567
Summary
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.
Best part is left out of the headline. He was in bed with four dogs at the time.
Because that’s the punchline. Only when he says it, he has a straight face. He should do standup.
I mean I can’t fault him there. My wife and I share a bed with two dogs.
That wasn’t my point. My animals are allowed in my bed too. But if I woke up with scratches I wouldn’t leap to demon.
True, I’m not saying it’s aliens but… It’s got to be aliens.
Were they female? 'Cause you know, when you get in bed with four bitches…
Hopefully she comes back to finish the job
His wife tried to bobbit him.
Doesn’t he admit to sleeping with various puppies and dogs though?
Yeah, demon puppies.
hellhounds
I don’t want to live in this timeliness anymore. Can tuckers demons kill me plz
Can tuckers demons kill
metucker plzI have no idea what kind of person you are, but your name isn’t plastered all over articles seeking to damage communities in the US, so by that alone you’re orders of magnitude more valuable then Tucker. I vote the demons go straight to the source on this one - no need for you to go down with it.
When you have so little moral even demons want to get out
Heather Langenkamp word balloon
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That guy is gayer than Lindsay Graham. In fact, the demon might have been Lindsay Graham.
Ewwww
