I was originally hired as an Emergency Medical Technician by a hospital. After a few years the local Fire Department took over EMS. The only thing that changed is that the taxpayers had to pay to have our ambulances repainted and we all got new uniforms.

One day while driving my partner and I get flagged down; the man’s truck had caught fire. We could see visible flames between the cab and the box. My partner grabbed the fire extinguisher on the console and I ran around to the back and got the fire extinguisher from the rear compartment. We doused the flames before the engine arrived. We made our report on the radio and went back to the station to restock.

We were later told that the fire extinguishers should only be used if our vehicle was on fire, and not for civilians.

So, we were supposed to sit in Fire uniforms, in a Fire vehicle, and not put out a fire.

I didn’t stop to greet some customers as I walked in with a cane for the third week in a row due to nerve damage.

I wasn’t on the clock, we didn’t have a uniform, no name tag, nobody would even know I work there until I put my shit on after I clock in.

By that time I had made it a habit of recording every interaction with management, so I just pulled out my phone, hit the record button, and asked “so to be clear, are you officially reprimanding me for NOT doing work off the clock?” and that immediately shut him up.

Managers get awfully pensive when they have recording devices capturing them.

We were changing office buildings and were packing our desks for the move. They have us boxes and bags for everything. The bags were oddly large, which I commented on by saying “these bags could fit a small child”. Apparently some people took offense at that, as I was later sent up to HR to explain myself.

I was written up for not being happy, and again for smiling too much later in the year. I’m a software test engineer.

There was a super insecure manager a bunch of years ago. I didn’t report to him, but occasionally worked alongside him.

I had been working with one of our customers for a few weeks on a feature they had requested. It was something out-of-the-box, so understandably, if you didn’t know the context, it would be rather confusing.

Manager is set to run a meeting with them, and asks for my help as the technical expert. No problem. We get into the meeting, and the customer asks some technical questions. Before I can get a word in edgewise, Manager proceeds to pull the most inane shit out of his ass for a good 10 minutes–clearly knowing nothing that’s going on, but not letting that stop him. After the customer is sufficiently confused, and Manager is starting to look a little panicked, he finally turns to me.

I figure I’ll try to save him some face, so I start my reply with, “I’m not entirely sure, but are you asking…”, repeating their question back. The customer is clearly relieved that I know what they’re asking, and I provide the answers. Crisis averted! The meeting ends and I head back to my desk feeling good.

Until Manager storms up to my desk and proceeds to scream at me, “IF YOU’RE NOT ABSOLUTELY SURE ABOUT SOMETHING, DON’T ANSWER! NONE OF THIS ‘I’M NOT SURE’ BULLSHIT! NEXT TIME THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE FOR US!” and storms off. Nice projection, asshole.

I was new enough to not have the presence of mind to respond, so nothing came of it (though he was demoted not long after–possibly the shittiest manager I’ve ever known) so it all worked out in the end.

Worked for a small business which did electronics repair, and which had recently picked up e-waste recycling. Our boss, the owner, was known for getting baked out of his mind and imagining things which he needed to tell his staff, and would think the next day that he had actually told that thing to his staff. Just to give you an idea of the kind of guy the owner is, we had two company-wide group texts for the 11 people on payroll. One had everyone, and the other had everyone except the owner. The owner never knew about that one, and honestly that arrangement was a necessity to keep turnover low and by extension the business from running aground.

Anyway, my coworker is talking to a customer at the counter, who is dropping off an old television to be recycled. The customers leave, and the owner walks in.

Owner: “Wait, is this a plasma? We can’t take this!”

Coworker: “why not?”

Owner: “We can’t do plasmas! We’ve never done plasmas!” sees the stack of plasma screen televisions “What the fuck?! Who accepted these?”

Me: “Dude, you’ve never mentioned that we can’t do anything with plasmas before.”

Owner: “Yeah! It was in the class on e-waste recycling.”

Coworker: “You were the only one who took that because you didn’t want to fly anyone else to Vegas for a four day conference.”

At this point I think the owner started to realize he hadn’t actually disseminated anything other than the logistical aspects of the e-waste business to the employees.

Owner: “So, what, no one knows what we actually accept for e-waste?”

Me: “I don’t think so, man.”

The owner looks at me with obvious anger and with that look that says he’s about to blame me for something.

Owner: “So, what y’all want a fucking list or something?”

Coworker: “Yeah, that would be great, actually.”

The owner turned red, looked about ready to angry-cry, and walked out. Went home and got baked. I don’t think he ever actually put a list together. The e-waste thing fell through a few months later after I left because the warehouse he was renting and illegally living out of was like a quarter the size needed, and there wasn’t any money left for processing equipment. He franchised a corporate brand like a year later.

Fuck you, Matt, you goddamn moron.

Anybody who spends time doublechecking they’re listed where they want in a group email needs to be fired. The company is not in the business of “your ego”

the person bringing the complaint is the one disrespecting everyone.

I was born with glass bones and paper skin yet somehow I can still withstand more damage than a middle manager’s ego.

I was working in the military. An office job at HQ so we had to use our parade uniforms. I was working nights one week and didn’t have any clean black socks, I used white.

Around 8 in the morning I was walking up the stairs to leave and passed the Naval Admiral, who promptly chewed me put for wearing white socks and dress shoes.

I got a verbal warning for referring to someone as a “guy” in my team’s group chat.

As in “I’ve got a guy here who’s running into issues with getting his loan processed. How should I proceed with assisting him?”

My language wasn’t professional enough, and my manager pulled me aside to warn me not to do it again. I’ve since left the role, and my new team fully embraces casual conversation (my manager has outright exclaimed that “our software is a piece of shit” to much agreement). Things are much better now.

I introduced myself to a new client (new job) and the boss didn’t like that the client joked to the boss that he better watch out for his job because I sounded like a better [what we did] than he did. Which I was. Which was why he hired me. But a month later I was working somewhere else.

I was interviewing for a job as a movie theater manager.

In my neck of the woods there’s a limited number of movie theaters, and everyone knows everyone else. So I was interviewing for the job when I’m told

“we heard through the grapevine that after you were fired from your last job you broke into the office and did something unspeakable on the carpet.”

I still ended up getting the job.

I got in trouble for telling a senior manager that he was wrong on a technical issue. He sought expert advice on a control system but when the answer came back it didn’t fit his conception of reality and he didn’t want to hear it.

Turns out being good at management and being good at solving technical problems are skill sets that very rarely coincide in one person.

I’m in this situation all the time. Simple solution if you’re worried about it: alphabetize them by first name. It’s fair and if people actually care about crap like this, they can fuck off in general. At least if you’re consistent with that, they can never complain. It’s insane to me that it’s a thing, but people are fragile and it matters a lot to some of them

I didn’t give maximum effort according to my pa, when an outside contractor who was giving kickbacks to my supervisor, tried to sell our company a circa 2000 used phone system.