It’s a funny read and here’s the transcript in its entirety:

Following a series of accusations of plagiarism made in Hbomberguy’s new video, “Plagiarism and You(Tube)”, content creator James Somerton has released a formal apology in the form of a suspiciously familiar 4-hour video essay, sources report.

“In 1970 in Analog Magazine, Harlan Ellison and Ben Bova published the short story, ‘Brillo’,” begins Somerton in his latest upload, titled “Plagiarism and Me(Tube)”. “Ellison’s one of the most famous writers in history, but Bova’s no slouch: he soon became editor of Analog, where he was beloved, and won the Hugo Award for Best Professional Editor six times.”

After finishing what reporters assumed was a wholly original anecdote about the ensuing plagiarism of Ellison and Bova’s story, as well as the subsequent lawsuit, Somerton appears on screen for the first time, reclining in his chair and closing the covers to a 1970 copy of Analog, a tear-stained transcript hidden poorly between its pages.

“It goes without saying, the historic lawsuit in which Ellison and Bova tried to retain ownership of their work ended in complete failure,” continued Somerton, his face beet red, wearing his channel’s iconic burnt shirt and sporting a newly shaved head. “They lost so bad. A decisive victory for the everyman who just wants to make fun videos and smother the writing of queer authors in peace. Lawsuits: never try them, that’s the moral.”

Despite the YouTuber’s good intentions conveyed through his signature discomforting, dead-eyed stare, eagle-eyed viewers were quick to point out some ominous similarities between Somerton’s 4-hour apology and Hbomberguy’s video of a similar name, uploaded just two days prior.

“James’s video is good, don’t get me wrong,” said Chris Murray, a long-time fan of Somerton’s work who was devastated when the allegations came out. “I learned an awful lot about the shady things content creators are able to get away with. Fraud, plagiarism — and to think, it might’ve all continued if someone like James didn’t step up and expose it. He’s a real one for that.”

“But after finishing Somerton’s strangely informative apology video in which he didn’t apologize once, I turned on Hbomberguy’s video, which I’m told was uploaded first. That’s when I started to notice some similarities. For one thing, James is wearing the same shirt as Hbomberguy. Not only that, he seems to be repeating every single word that comes out of Hbomberguy’s mouth verbatim, like a perverted lyrebird in the forest who mimics the words of men but is cursed to never comprehend their meaning. I started to get really suspicious halfway through though. You know the part: Somerton’s going on this diatribe about grifters who steal from established journalists and marginalized writers, people like iilluminaughtii and the Internet Historian, and he seems primed to unveil the biggest culprit of all, the focus of his video, but then… there’s suddenly two hours of dead air. It’s really strange. Makes you think though, which is what I like about his videos.”

Hard Drive reached out to Somerton for comment, who responded by asking Hard Drive for comment in turn on an article he was writing titled “YouTuber James Somerton Releases Suspiciously Familiar 4-Hour Apology Video.” Hard Drive has not responded at this time.

At press time, following the praise he received for his video, Hbomberguy announced he would be releasing a special edition, 7-hour Director’s Cut of “Plagiarism and You(Tube),” available just in time for Christmas.

If I have to hear about the length of this fucking video one more time…

it would be incredibly funny if he did

i thought hbomberguy’s video was cut off really short, i could watch it for days (really, not satire).