Communist men only date women older than them! Preferably by at least five years.

  • PurrLure [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    17 hours ago

    monke-beepboop Not sure if I’ve accidentally stepped into horny posting (uh oh, stinky) or if some guys just really really want everyone to know that they’re not libertarians.

    • Redcuban1959 [any]@hexbear.net
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      21 hours ago

      An informal tea meeting with Chinese leader Xi Jinping capped-off French President Emmanuel Macron’s three-day trip to China recently. But the two countries share a passion that goes far beyond the age-old beverage. In March 2017, the then-popular presidential candidate Macron had an interview with French newspaper Le Parisien. He publicly declared, “I am a Maoist.” Adding, “A good program is one that works,” referring to the effectiveness of his campaign.

  • yoink [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    22 hours ago

    and people had the gall to tell me the other day that users on this site aren’t being weirdly defensive about this discourse

    wonder if we’re gonna get more comments complaining about the age of consent again this time

    • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      18 hours ago

      wonder if we’re gonna get more comments complaining about the age of consent again this time

      The only complaints about the age of consent I’ve ever seen in any of these threads are people either claiming that 18 is too low or asserting that a large age gap between adults is “literally pedophilia.” The other side has just been a consistent “you have to trust adults to make these decisions for themselves instead of infantilizing them, even if a big age gap is sus.”

      And I mean I fundamentally dislike and distrust men in general and find the way they dehumanize, fetishize, and try to control women (or other men for that matter, because cis gay men–particularly richer ones–do it too) repulsive, but the counter to that isn’t declaring that some adult women are literally children because they might hypothetically become the target of some creep’s lust, it’s giving women more agency, rights, and education and trying to prevent the actual power disparity in our patriarchal hellstate that heavily enables abusers to prey on women in general, not just younger women. Is a middle aged man specifically pursuing college students or recent college graduates a creep? Probably, especially if he’s actively setting out to do it and it’s not just some incidental meeting, and it probably ties into gross youth-fetishization aspects of our culture, but it’s also not “literally pedophilia” nor can we can unilaterally say “actually this adult woman is not trusted to enter into this relationship for herself and so it must be prohibited on her behalf, as we have determined it’s some percentage more likely to be an abusive relationship than the baseline chance of abuse that a closer-in-age relationship has, which is also sickeningly high because we live in a patriarchal hellstate that teaches men to prey on women and grooms women to submit to this.”

      • yoink [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        18 hours ago

        And I mean I fundamentally dislike and distrust men in general and find the way they dehumanize, fetishize, and try to control women (or other men for that matter, because cis gay men–particularly richer ones–do it too) repulsive, but the counter to that isn’t declaring that some adult women are literally children because they might hypothetically become the target of some creep’s lust, it’s giving women more agency, rights, and education and trying to prevent the actual power disparity in our patriarchal hellstate that heavily enables abusers to prey on women in general, not just younger women. Is a middle aged man specifically pursuing college students or recent college graduates a creep? Probably, especially if he’s actively setting out to do it and it’s not just some incidental meeting, and it probably ties into gross youth-fetishization aspects of our culture, but it’s also not “literally pedophilia” nor can we can unilaterally say “actually this adult woman is not trusted to enter into this relationship for herself and so it must be prohibited on her behalf, as we have determined it’s some percentage more likely to be an abusive relationship than the baseline chance of abuse that a closer-in-age relationship has, which is also sickeningly high because we live in a patriarchal hellstate that teaches men to prey on women and grooms women to submit to this.”

        Genuinely, I do agree with all of this, and my point really was that I want more conversations about this in particular. The point I was making is that, rather than being able to talk about the issues frankly like this, and how the patriarchal status quo we find ourselves in is the larger issue here, every single time instead the comments are full of jokes taking this to the extreme that effectively throw the baby out with the bath water. Whether or not my word is taken for it, I’m rational about this - I full understand the spectrum of human intelligence and agency, and I agree that in an ideal world this would not be something we worry about. I’m not so black and white in my thinking as to genuinely believe we can draw a line and say ‘That’s good enough’ with any conviction. I’m just jilted that any time this comes up, we get lost in comments about ‘oh in that case my relationship should send me to the gulag’, which I think we can agree is actively not helpful towards this conversation - I mean, in this comment section alone, how many comments are just variations on that joke, let alone the other comment section just 4 days ago. If I’m being honest with myself and with the community, it’s the response here that has me worried more than anything - the instant air of dismissiveness just rubs me the wrong way. Like at no point am I even bringing up pedophilia, but everything seems so centered around how such a thing would affect individuals here personally, instead of discussions that feel genuine about an issue whose discourse contains some ‘ultras’.

        • KobaCumTribute [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          17 hours ago

          The point I was making is that, rather than being able to talk about the issues frankly like this, and how the patriarchal status quo we find ourselves in is the larger issue here, every single time instead the comments are full of jokes taking this to the extreme that effectively throw the baby out with the bath water.

          Fair enough, though I personally think in general the community culture of casual shitposting coexisting alongside serious analysis and discourse is usually fine, even if things like this or the way some people use “volcel police” memes as a safe way to be horny on main toe the line a bit.

          Like at no point am I even bringing up pedophilia

          I will be fair and say that I’ve only seen that specific take once here, although some people were agreeing with it, and it’s just so wild that it sticks out in my mind whenever this topic comes up now.

          • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]@hexbear.netB
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            17 hours ago

            The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

            نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

            volcel-police

        • inTheShadowOf [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          18 hours ago

          The immediate joke responses are weird. There are healthy relationships with age gaps that have serious conversations before anything happens (and often are queer relationships tbh), but it seems like the people that make the jokes have no experience with this or have some stuff to work out personally.

    • yoink [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      21 hours ago

      sorry if i keep coming across as incensed with these comments, but it feels like an insane blindspot for hexbear to have

      like why of all things is this being memed on? Sure, you’ll see the occasional post that goes overboard but it’s incomprehensible to me to log on to this site and see people acting like there is NOTHING to be taken seriously here. EVERYONE has to have some ‘Power Dynamics’ or ‘well lock me up cos my girlfriend is two weeks younger than me’ joke to post for a handful of upvotes.

      Maybe it’s because the users commenting have never dealt with this, or had friends who have, but it feels like this whole thing denies entire experiences that so many of my AFAB friends have had with older men manipulating and taking advantage of them at 16 (or if they have even a modicum of shame, waiting to pounce until theyre 18), and to see users here just brush the entire thing off - and for what? Legitimately for what?

      That last question is why this whole thing smacks of defensiveness for me. Either that or a bunch of people being reactionary and scared of some imagined puritan boogeyman laying in hiding in the next generation.

      • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        17 hours ago

        yeah ngl i am probably the person in question who is being subquoted here by the other user and a lot of the reason why i don’t bother to check my hyperbole around the issue is because of how positively revolting so many of the users here get about this stuff

        like no it’s not “literally pedophilia” but i also don’t give a fuck, y’know? i want people to stop clamoring for the right to fuck teens. if comparing them to pedos makes even a single person go “hmm maybe this is a little weird” then hoo fucking ray but mostly i am just tired of everyone treating a situation that is 99% of the time an older man abusing a younger inexperienced woman like it’s a funny fucking joke

      • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        21 hours ago

        And these aren’t even “edgy” jokes made purely for shock value. These feel more like personal reactions and male defensiveness. And a lot of the people making these “jokes” seem to have he/him pronouns, which is even more suspicious. It’s almost like there’s some type of misogyny going on being passed off as irony… 🤔

        Edit: Ah just looked at your post history and yup you brought this up last time. It seems nothing was done or learned from it.

    • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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      21 hours ago

      K wait what? I haven’t seen this. Is people on communist pages complaining about the age of consent a thing?

      • yoink [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        21 hours ago

        it’s not a ‘thing’, but it is one user wielding it to try and shut down any conversation, but maybe they were trying to make a different point and made it in the most crude way possible

    • CyborgMarx [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      21 hours ago

      The chain of authentication for that “hadith” is laughable and its legal suppositions aren’t present in the early Medina legal code

      The only reason the hadith hasn’t been discarded centuries ago is because it’s present in Bukhari’s collection which some treat as gospel, it’s a fabrication invented by 8th century squabbling sectarians and technically isn’t even a hadith since it’s attributed to Aisha and not the Prophet himself

      • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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        19 hours ago

        isn’t even a hadith since it’s attributed to Aisha and not the Prophet himself

        i’m not sure what you mean by this, hadith reported by others about the behavior of the prophet are valid hadith (if the isnad is reliable ofc), it’s not just literally what the prophet was alleged to say. aisha and his other wives are the sources of a huge number of hadith.

        e: to be clear i’m not defending that particular one, but undermining its legitimacy by way of it coming from aisha strikes me as extremely strange

        • CyborgMarx [any, any]@hexbear.net
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          19 hours ago

          It’s an old critique, the difference between prophetic and non-prophetic hadiths is notable (silent approval vs declarative statements) and the acceptance of non-prophetic hadiths is a fraught subject and something traditionalists currently possess a strangle-hold over, despite them stretching the concept of a chain of narration far beyond the breaking point to incorporate these non-prophetic reports into higher tiers of acceptance

          Basically the point is if an obvious fabrication like the Aisha hadith can pass muster, what does that say about the other non-prophetic anecdotes

          • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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            19 hours ago

            silent approval vs declarative statements

            shouldn’t a ‘silent approval’ be held in higher esteem with a more reliable isnad–we’re more sure it actually happened–than judging via the alleged content? this feels like putting characteristics of hadith before the reliability. what use is a direct word from the prophet if one cannot as honestly be sure it came from him?

            • CyborgMarx [any, any]@hexbear.net
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              18 hours ago

              Silent approval relies on the character of the transmitters themselves, it’s far more open to “interpretation” than declarative narratives with multiple “eyewitnesses” and multiple chains of narration

              characteristics of hadith before the reliability

              Characteristics of hadith can be used to determine reliability (internal contradictions in the hadith) tho this pisses off modern revivalists to no end, despite the fact it was accepted practice thru out Islamic history

              what use is a direct word from the prophet if one cannot as honestly be sure it came from him?

              That is the million dollar 1400 year question lmao, and I think the answer is obvious

              • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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                18 hours ago

                it seems we’re talking past each other because “Silent approval relies on the character of the transmitters themselves” seems like we’re both prioritizing isnad but saying it differently, lol. all i was saying is that the allegation something was relayed from aisha is not helpful for establishing paucity of hadith, because she’s the source of uncontroversial hadith too; which incidentally makes her a good spot to source a fabrication from, if you wanted to

                • CyborgMarx [any, any]@hexbear.net
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                  16 hours ago

                  Sorry I should’ve been more clear, when I said “attributed to Aisha” I didn’t mean that she was the original transmitter of the hadith and that alone somehow puts its isnad in question, I meant she was the subject of the hadith and the transmitters (inauthentic as they were) are supposedly sourcing the contents of the hadith (it’s matn) from her life and not the prophet, which does beg the question in what respect could that be considered a hadith and not simply an historical assertion about someone the prophet knew

                  Basically, if the prophet is not the main subject nor the original speaker of the content (isnad notwithstanding), then is it really a hadith in essence

  • CyborgMarx [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    20 hours ago

    It should be noted there is serious debate about whether Khadija was actually 40 when she married the Prophet (considering she had 6 kids afterwards) it’s likely that saying someone was “40” was more a label to denote “Maturity/Wisdom” and “Seniority” rather than a concrete age