Yeah but also make sure to minimize your emissions in how to hermetically seal yourself

SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI

I used to play rodents revenge on my dad’s wori computer all the time

I have a baby now and I try really hard to make clear to people that if you’d like to hold her you’re welcome to but it’s also totally fine if you don’t want to. Some people are so excited to, others want nothing to do with it. I get it either way

… more?

Which groin do they talk about

I don’t think that pantry is big enough to store all my sbortion

Im in the US and live literally across the street from my kids school. He starts kindergarten in August and I told some neighborhood parent friends I was going to just let him walk himself to school while I watched from the stoop sipping coffee. A lot of them were mortified and a few thought the school wouldn’t allow him in without me dropping him off. Wtf

You forgot to say “Only write correct code” in your instructions

apology for poor english

when were you when Japan declared Islamic Republic?

i was sat at home scrolling Lemmy when phone ring

‘We had 11 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan’

‘no’

I run into 425 Too Early a lot

I’m 40, with a kid, currently on the toilet and I am absolutely destroying it right now. I think I’ve got some kind of stomach bug.

This hit hard 😆

You sound like an asshole, fyi lol

Ftfy

THIS. IS. SPARTA!!

27.5 if you’re drunk

Sort of describes bulimia I guess

That last sentence - yes! 0 degrees outside? No problem, coat. 80 degrees outside? I turn into a fussy baby. At 90 I’m like non functional

My cat when I don’t feed her on time

I know right. I’m 39, all 20.

I’ve seen my wife open the mailbox, look at what’s in it, say “Ugh I don’t want to deal with that,” and PUT IT BACK IN THE MAILBOX