Big_Bob [any]

  • 2 Posts
  • 170 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 28th, 2022

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  • This is what happens when someone is so hollowed out by hyperconsumerism that buying a fucking flashlight becomes a substitution for an identity.

    This sad motherfucker soyfaces over flashlights like they were funko pops and knows more “boutique” flashlight brands than he knows people.

    He has strong opinions on every minute detail of his purchases like the bevelling on the glass rims or the best method to turn the fucking light on.

    He probably follows the companies’ management on twitter and has intense opinions on the companies, in the way a lib redditor will know every minutiae of his political party’s niche actors and figures.

    A perfect consumerist zombie with no thoughts or actions that aren’t filtered through consuming his Product™.

    Absolutely horrifying.











  • Big_Bob [any]@hexbear.nettoScience Memes@mander.xyzCrystals
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    1 month ago

    Speak for yourself. My JO crystal is so supercharged I can levitate up to 6 cm from the ground and yell louder than a police siren.

    I have won several fights by blinding my opponent with the flash of the JO crystal as I crank my hog with one hand and swing my crystal with the other.

    My seed has become so powerful, I’m banned from donating semen in 17 countries, including Papua New Guinea and the Pharoe Island.

    I have channeled the unholy energies from my magnetic wristbands and wooden bracelets to erect a dark labyrinth to contain me so I won’t accidentally break reality apart when I crank my hawg too hard.

    Do not underestimate the power of crystals.